Scream, queen, scream.
Welcome back to the latest installment of that august horror movie franchise, Screaming Queens 6: The (W)hor(ror), The (W)hor(ror). After a so so first episode, and a more energetic second episode, we were given a hit and miss third episode.
When we last left the glamorous world of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the remaining thirteen queens…
…oops, I’m sorry, twelve queens finally got to meet each other for the first time, and the sparks flew. And by sparks flying, I mean Gia Gunn was attempting to read the new girls, which thankfully Bianca del Rio was having none of it and gave it back to her with compound interest.
But, ever the watchful parent, Ru decided that the girls needed to bond with one another. And so, in pairs of two (one from each group) they were to form a hybrid queen (one the top half and one the bottom half) and lip sync to Ru’s song “Click Clack.” The results were… well…
Adore Delano and Milk won (though I was slightly shocked because Milk’s lack of tuck was evident and Adore looked a fright on top). As reward (?) they were the captains for two teams of six to create a screen test for two editions of the new horror franchise Drag Race Me To Hell. Milk’s team (including Courtney Act, Darienne Lake, Bianca del Rio, Trinity K. Bonet, and Joslyn Fox) had the original version from the 1960s, while Adore’s team (including Laganja Estranja, April Carrión, Gia Gunn, Ben DeLaCreme, and Vivacious) had the fifth installment set in the 1980s.
After filming their scenes, the girls were ordered to appear in their best drag and stop down the runway for Ru, Michelle, Santino, and guest judges Lena Heady from Game Of Thrones and the great Linda Blair from The Exorcist.
I’m just going to cut to the chase: Milk’s team mopped the floor with the competition and easily won. I said it last week and I’ll say it again; this half of the queens might just have more charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent than the other half does. Everyone was on point. Even the two weakest ones surprised me in good ways; Joslyn was a lot more camera savvy than anyone gave her credit for (the “Gasp!” bit was funnier than it had a right to be), and Trinity was having difficulty with being on camera but was able to take direction from Ru and it worked. The only part that was slightly weak was Milk herself but that I blame on the role a case of being least among equals. But give it up for Darienne, who won the challenge as the satanic head and being amazing and creepy at the same time.
As for the runway looks from left to right: Bianca looks amazing and chic, Courtney looks sensational, Joslyn is serving Xanadu realness, Trinity’s gorgeous look and dress look bland in comparison to the others, Milk is giving us Pinocchio, and while I love a cape Darienne’s look is having the same problem as last week (great hair, flawless face, meh outfit).
Meanwhile, Adore’s team was an unholy mess. Everything from lack of leadership from Adore, to no one knowing their lines (with one notable exception) and being miscast in the roles, everything just fell apart. Ru had no qualms about reading all of this team down the line for filth. Maybe these are stronger queens as a whole and she can be sharper in her critiques, or maybe she’s just not playing around anymore, but Ru has been more more aggressive in her critiques in the workroom and on the runway and I am in favor of it! In particular she went after Gia and Adore; the former for coming across well on camera but had no acting technique whatsoever, the later for not only being a weak leader and being the most unprepared of the bunch and for resting on her charisma and not really using her talent to the best of her abilities. Also joining Adore in the bottom three were April (who was unconvincing as a butch real estate agent) and Vivacious (whose performance was a mess). The only performance that was spared was BenDeLaCreme’s; Santino was right in saying that had she been on the winning team, she would have easily won the challenge.
As for the runway looks: April was clever in an oversized poncho and umbrella, Laganja was lovely, Gia’s look was doing nothing for me (but then again, she does nothing for me), Adore looked like a poor man’s S&M take on late 70s Bette Midler in her Dolores Del Rio mermaid drag (emphasis on poor), BenDeLaCreme looked cute as a button in her bows (though given her vintage flair I would have modified it and gone straight into Playboy Bunny mode) and Vivacious served up club queen extravaganza.
After a bizarre Untucked (which saw the winning team playing “Guess What’s In The Box?” and the losing team trying to explain to Vivacious why she shouldn’t be mad at them for throwing her under the bus), the girls returned to the runway to learn their fates. While I was not surprised that Vivacious was in the bottom two, I was SHOCKED that Adore was not (given the ineptitude of her work and the reading she got from Ru it should have been a no brainer). Instead April had to Lip Sync For Her Life against Vivacious and barely managed to walk away. And so it’s a sad sashay away to Vivacious and I for one am sad that we won’t see more of this glorious club queen.
– Who was the midget queen seen at the end? Will someone please explain? Because she’s fabulous!
– Call me crazy but I think Adore is getting the love from the producers. Every season there is at least one queen that Ru and company like that they will keep her around even when they should have eliminated her (see Rebecca Glasscock from Season 1 as the prime example, or Phi Phi O’Hara from Season 4) and I fear that Adore is going to be in that slot. Unless if something bad happens next week…
– I could literally spend all day talking about Bianca’s various reads and shade moments. And unlike the other shady queen in the room (that would be Gia), Bianca (a) is usually right, (b) often throws in constructive criticism to go with the shade (her dismissal of Trinity’s desire to be a Beyoncé impersonator might have been mean but it’s apt; Beyoncé isn’t someone that you can really contour your face to look like and make it look convincing), and (c) more importantly, is funny as hell. While she might come off a tad mercenary, she’s got the goods to back it up. Plus, I could watch her read Gia all day and call it quality entertainment.
– Speaking of Kimora Lee Kardashian (thanks Bianca!), Gia is pretty but dumb as a pile of bricks. Not only did she not know what a DeLorean was (“is it some kind of ancient dildo?”) but when she complained about the other team being shot in black and white, she couldn’t comprehend that it was because their scene was set in the 60s. (Side Note: Whoever this producer is that is interviewing the girls and revealing them to be dumb bunnies deserves a raise and an Emmy stat!)
And now, it’s time for…
And I’ve had to revise my scores from the last two week to match the Wikipedia chart. As for this episode, 1 point to each mini challenge winner, 4 to the winner of the challenge, 2 to each member of the winning team, 1 for each safe person on the losing team, 0 for bottom three, -1 for Lip Synching for Your Life, and -2 for “Sashay, Away!”
– Adore Delano: 1
– April Carrión: 1
– Ben DeLaCreme: 5
– Bianca Del Rio: 6
– Courtney Act: 3
– Darienne Lake: 3
– Gia Gunn: 2
– Joslyn Fox: 2
– Laganja Estranja: 3
– Milk: 5
– Trinity K, Bonet: 5
– Vivacious: -3
NEXT WEEK: It’s clear that one of the reasons Adore was spared was for the inevitable showdown between her and her fellow Idol alumna Courtney Act. Well it seems that it’s coming next week as we are presented Shade: The Rusical with guest judges producer Lucian Piane and the great Sheryl Lee Ralph.
And now one more piece of news… Mad Men is coming back on April 13 for its final season. Now there are two good things and one bad thing.
Good Thing #1 – The (Typically) Enigmatic Teaser
Good Thing #2 – The promotional key art for the final season was designed by legendary illustrator Milton Glasner, who was responsible for some of the most iconic advertising art of the late 60s and 70s (think the iconic Bob Dylan Greatest Hits album cover, or the I Love New York artwork).
Bad Thing – Like the final season of Breaking Bad, this final season will be a split season with the first half happening now and the second half happening supposedly in 2015. Show runner Matthew Weiner had hinted at this previously, and I will still watch it without question or fail, but still I have to quote the inimitable Sally Draper regarding this news…
Photo Credit: Logo / World Of Wonder, Chad Sell, AMC