Well, this episode was kind of a throw-away, no? I mean it was okay but it really didn’t change things did it? No?
Well, let’s get out our pregnancy tests. It’s time to find our baby daddies.
- “Top Four! Add No More!” “Nice try, Norma Rae!” (Related: I want a “No Mo Hos” t-shirt tout suite!)
- Once again, Michelle et al. revel in their taste for fish by bringing back Kenya Michaels. To which I say “Why?”. Nothing against her, but it seems like a throwaway choice. When they did it last year with Carmen, at least she had some strong transformative skills that made her somewhat of a threat to the remaining girls, Kenya really wasn’t that strong of a competitor. All she brought to the table was a super feminine look (with equal parts of JonBennet Ramsey and Tootie from “The Facts of Life”) but no real skills beyond that.
- Which leads me to my other issue with this; if Ru really wanted to make this count, she should have brought back either someone with some skills, or some personality that could have put the girls on edge. Had she not been disqualified, I would have loved to have seen Willam back for this challenge. Her mere presence would have rattled all of the queens (and hopefully gotten rid of THAT “WOMAN” and yes I’m talking about Phical Matter).
- For those who’ve never heard of the term, THAT WOMAN is an opera queen idiom defined as “A diva you don’t like. No, a diva you can’t stand! As in ‘Someone has to let THAT WOMAN know she has no business singing Norma!'” (Hat tip to the indispensable Parterre Box for the definition.) The quotation marks around “WOMAN” are a nod to Susan Sontang’s Notes On Camp (“Not a woman, but a ‘woman’.”)
- And once again, Ru breaks out her Hepburn by bringing out some manly straight men to be the drag sisters of our hardscrabble divas, but Ru throws a twist into the mix: category – baby bump realness! Oy vey!
- All of the guys seem well matched but Sharon’s guy was just outright creepy. And if you can freak out Sharon Needles, then you really have to be scary.
- That said, who stood up and cheered Chad putting the smack down on that creep? And no, I’m not talking about Phical Matter this time (hat tip to the commentator on Tom and Lorenzo‘s site who coined the term).
- Kenya made several mistakes: 1) Usually the hot guys are the ones who have no talent, 2) If the choreography is too hard for your partner, then change it.
- Runway Time: Ru looks lovely, Michelle needs a makeover, Santino… we can’t.
- Guest Judges: LOVE Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Like Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt.
- The strip teases were a whole lot of nothing. Only Chad’s and (sad to say) Phical’s were any good.
- Runway time: Phical and her sister looked good and sadly deserved the win (but those tears on the runway were about as real as Willam’s). Chad and her sister looked great but the baby bumps were too vertical. Kenya’s was shockingly without energy, and Latrice and Sharon were playing it safe.
- Speaking of playing it safe, I really wish Chad would just go Kali-ma (ala Raiders of the Lost Ark) on Michelle for calling her safe.
- And Mr. Ferguson, while I love you, Tyler Perry wishes he looked half as good in drag as Latrice Royale.
- So Phical wins. Boo.
- And Kenya is up against Latrice for the lip synch. It was over the second the music started, then when Kenya did her first arabesque, and then when Kenya took off her wig (and I have to hand it to the editors that the next shot was Santino saying “No” when it happened). Besides, was there any doubt that Miss Latrice would not serve up Miss Aretha brilliantly? The fact that she sang it to her baby bump gave it a level of Murphy Brown realness that was the icing on the cake.
- And for the record, Aretha Franklin songs – particularly her ballads – are difficult as hell to lip synch. It’s all about the emotional delivery that you can bring to the table. That said, I would love to have Ru make the girls do a lip synch to “Rock Steady.” Here’s a great example of a flawless lip synch to that song.
To THE DRAG RACE SCOREBOARD
- Chad Michaels: 3
- Kenya Michaels: -1 (1 for the mini challenge, -2 for the sashay away)
- Latrice Royale: -1 (bottom 2)
- Phi Phi O’Hara: 4
- Sharon Needles: 0
- Chad Michaels: 23
- Sharon Needles: 20
- Phi Phi O’Hara: 18
- Latrice Royale: 15
- Willam: 10
- Dida Ritz & Madame LaQueer: 4 (Tie)
- Kenya Michaels: 3
- Jiggly Caliente: 2
- Milan: 1
- LaShawn Beyond & The Princess: -1
- Alisa Summers: -2
Observations: You know, Michelle, for someone who’s always safe, isn’t it odd that Chad Michaels is now the leader? Maybe you’re mistaking “safe” for “professional.” The only disturbing thing is that Miss O’Hara is now ahead of Miss Royale, which we at O’Dowd Industries Can. Now. Stand.
Next week: It’s a bitch fest as the show finally goes to the dogs.