Before we begin with the recap of the most recent episode, let us all pause and I shall regale you with a story (while you all put on your pearl necklaces; that way they’ll be in place when you clutch them as we wade through the morass).
So on Sunday night, I sashayed into The Saloon not for the shower contest (the boys were only so-so) nor to see the lovely and talented Camille Collins hostessing said contest (though she did in her inimitable style and looked radiant last night) but to see the special guest of the night: the one and only Miss Jujube! The crowd ate her up and she served it up! Alas, I wasn’t able to have an audience with La Juju but I have to give credit to her handlers and the Saloon security staff who were able to handle her well. Speaking as someone who has seen firsthand what good security can do, I appreciate it (even though I didn’t get to have a moment with the lady in question).
Two more things and then we’ll move on. First, as we all know, Jujube is a padding queen. Her hip pads were flawless! I was looking for any unseemly bumps which can happen if the pads shift but there was no flaw. And while it is publicly acknowledged it bears repeating; her lip-synch is On Point! The bitch knows what she’s doing!
Ok. Are you pearls on? Well, let’s clutch them! On to the recap!
- And another break out of that hit song “Jesus Is A Biscuit!” sung by the Rev. Dr. Latrice Royale and her white girl back up singers (and yes, Dida Ritz counts as a white girl in this case).
- The lie detector test was kind of campy fun.
- So who was surprised that Sharon would kai kai with Phi Phi? Oh honey, no!
- So who was not surprised that practically everyone wanted to Kai Kai with Latrice?
- And now a definition: Kai Kai is (derived I think from a Japanese term) where two female impersonators have sex in full female attire. It has evolved to mean two drag queens having sex in or out of face.
- So as soon as they announced it was a singing challenge, I ran and got my earplugs! Not all queens can sing (though some can really really well – see Joey Arias or Varla Jean Merman or even Jackie Beat).
- And then the couplings were made for maximum squirm factor. The only pair that promised no trouble was Chad and Dida (and thus were safe, even though Chad was right in saying that they sound like two dead cats).
- As for Willam and Latrice, it was great to watch them bring out the best in each other. And Latrice helped reign Willam in while Willam guided Latrice to another good performance. I was puking over it!….. sorry. Bad joke.
- As for the Phi Phi/Sharon matchup, it was Doomed from the start. The only thing that could rattle each queen was forcing them to cooperate. Phi Phi was her usual insufferable self. At least Sharon was trying to work with her and trying to give the judges what they want while still retaining her sense of self.
- Lucian Piane was adorable but watching him record the queens you could tell he was inwardly reading all of them for being talentless filth.
- The judges panel was odd; Ru looked gorgeous in her kimono (and it’s nice to see Ru change up the silhouette a bit). Meanwhile the ladies brought their A games (and their D cups). Let me put it this way: when Pamela Anderson is the demure one on the panel, something is wrong.
- That said, Miss Jennifer Tilly was on point in her critiques.
- So, if the Willam thing hadn’t happened, do you think Phi Phi would have been given the boot? I do.
- Speaking of that song. Really Ru? Really?!?
- That said, who wasn’t ready to scream “Phi Phi, that shtick didn’t work for Milan and it’s not going to work for you.” That said, props for Sharon actually doing what she needed to do to give a good lip sync.
- And then the surprise sashay away! So the question; what rule did Willam break? I’m guessing pill abuse but some of the more outrageous theories are hilarious (pregnancy! she’s a biological woman! possession by Satan!).
- And a big Fuck You to Logo for not coming out and saying what she did wrong. We have to wait till the reunion to find out what Willam did wrong. (And feel free to sound off in the comments on what you think she did wrong.)
To THE DRAG RACE SCOREBOARD then:
- Chad: 1
- Dida: 1
- Latrice: 4
- Phi Phi: -1 (Bottom 2)
- Sharon: -1 (Bottom 2)
- Willam: -2 (Disqualified)
- Chad Michaels & Latrice Royale: 17 (Tied)
- Sharon Needles: 16
- Phi Phi O’Hara: 13
- Willam: 10
- Dida Ritz: 6
- Madame LaQueer: 4
- Kenya Michaels: 3
- Jiggly Caliente: 2
- Milan: 1
- The Princess: -1
- LaShawn Beyond: -1
- Alisa Summers: -2